CHAPTER ONE
introductions
I hate introductions. I hate schmoozing. There’s nothing more awkward than having to be fake and friendly to new people.
Waltzing hand-in-hand with Kara, I enter the cafeteria in search of her clique of alleged friends—all of whom I’ve never met before. I tried to put off the greeting for as long as possible, but I only made it an hour before Kara dragged me down here from our shared dorm room in Aphro Hall.
I have to admit; when I first saw Kara I was in awe. She’s small, bubbly, blonde, and I’m…not. She had on this outrageous outfit, cowboy boots and all, and although it’s January, she chose to wear summer clothes and call it a day.
Her side of the room is like a Barbie’s dollhouse—only in real life. It’s completely pink with fluffy pillows and even smells flowery. My side is a stark contrast, but I plan to change that soon. I did only move in today.
Kara squeezes my hand and brings me back to the current moment. I’m drained from moving into DGA, Demi God Academy, just this morning, and the last thing on my mind is making friends when I so clearly don’t fit in.
Glancing around the room, it’s clear this place is for elite, gorgeous looking gods. Everyone is primped to perfection with flawless skin and silky, smooth hair. Meanwhile, I’m sweaty from hefting boxes and nervously biting my bottom lip with anxiety from being in this new situation.
The sea of people in front of me highly intimidates me. I thought I would be able remain invisible until classes start tomorrow morning, but now as I enter the room, all eyes turn towards me, scrutinizing my every move. Their searing stares inspect me, traveling up and down my average looking body. I use my arms to cover myself, crossing them over my average chest—not liking the way their eyes linger for far too long.
“Can’t we do this tomorrow?” I turn towards Kara, pleading with her. I hardly know her, but immediately I liked her. We may be opposites, but even so, she has this tender, genuine charm that makes me feel like I can trust her.
“Come on, they’re going to love you!” she squeals, linking our arms as she pulls me towards a table of kids I’m assuming are her friends.
When we step up to the table, all of the seated students smile up at Kara, welcoming her, before turning their watching eyes to me. An awkward second passes by as Kara just smiles, saying her hellos while I stand next to her looking like a social outcast.
“This is my roomy guys! Ryder,” she introduces me, and I grin, wanting to keep this short, but Kara pushes my back with her hand so I stumble forward towards the table. I trip over my feet but try to play it off.
“Hey,” I mutter far too quietly—the kids at the end of the table probably don’t even hear me. My hand waves involuntarily, making me look like a freaking idiot. I quickly shove my hand down, hiding it behind my back before I do something stupid like give them all handshakes or a lame thumbs up.
They go around the table clockwise, each saying their names, but I’m so nervous that I don’t remember a single one. My brain is on overdrive, and all I can think of is making sure I don’t barf or screw up my first impressions. Kara excuses us after they’re all introduced and leads me towards the food area, waving behind her effortlessly like the little social butterfly she is.
“Relax, girl.” She tries to reassure me but it hardly works. “They’re not all judgey.”
As we near the food lines towards the back of the cafeteria, I catch sight of my dark-haired knight standing in the center aisle of the room with a crowd of students circling him. My heart pitter-patters, and I mentally explode with him being so close.
I haven’t seen Ari since before Christmas, and even then, our only form of communication was via texting. Actually, both boys have recently been avoiding me like the plague, so when I see Ari standing there in all his godly glory, I almost hyperventilate.
As we take long strides towards him, I only allow myself a quick glance up and down his frame so nobody will acknowledge me. His hair is cut shorter than I’ve ever seen it, but at the same time it looks longer on top. I can’t tell what’s different, but it looks really good with his bright eyes. The sides are no longer over his ears, and it makes him look much older—maybe late twenties or even early thirties.
I stop dead in my tracks, not wanting him to spot me—or anyone else for that matter. I don’t think I’m mentally prepared for this meeting and need to avoid it at all costs.
Kara walks a few more steps alone before she notes that I’ve stopped moving. Turning around, she storms over to me with questioning eyes.
“What’s the deal?” I figure now is as good a time as any to explain to her at least part of the story of my dreaded, miserable life.
“I kind of know that guy over there.” I point to where Ari stands among the students.
“Which one?” she questions me back, squinting towards them, hungrily trying to pick out which kid it is.
“The guy with black hair.” I point directly at Ari but drop my hand fast so nobody else notices. I can’t have people accusing me of being a stalker on day one. I know how fast rumors can fly and the impact they have on someone’s reputation.
“Professor A?” she asks me in disbelief. Her perfectly shaped eyebrows pinch together in an unattractive way, and she scrutinizes me like she’s forming a new opinion.
“Uh, yeah,” I mutter, my cheeks heating up like a thermometer over an open flame.
“I think you’re going to have to back up here. How do you even know him?” She looks around the room, grabs my arm, and pulls me down to sit next to her at a vacant table. We’re hidden behind a stone pillar from prying eyes, and I feel myself relax just a notch.
“Well, I kind of dated him but not really.” She gives me a dismal look, thinking he’s my ex or something so I have to clear it up. “We met at my old school before I knew about gods and all of this,” I say, gesturing around the building full of gods, but she holds up her hand, shushing me.
“You lost me here. He’s your ex?” she clarifies, frowning over at me.
“Basically.” I leave it at that. Meanwhile my brain is running, thinking of fast forwarding to a time when Ari and I can actually be together or even rewind a few months, whichever is possible. I let my mental tirade flash with images of Ari on the beach, in the Underworld, and anywhere else I can have him.
“Okay, here’s what we’re going to do.” She breaks my thoughts with her light voice. “We are going to walk towards the food, you’re going to say ‘hi,’ and then walk away.” I start to object but she glowers at me, a silencing glare. “You look happy and he needs to see it,” she continues. She reaches her hand up and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. I feel her fingers brush around up there.
“Perfect,” she mutters and then stands in front of me, admiring her work. I look up at her skeptically, but she brushes it off and reaches down for my hand, not paying me any attention. I pause, debating what to do, but she’s my roommate, and I really need to work on my trust issues—I’ll give her a shot.
Interlocking her fingers with mine, she walks with a purpose, dragging me along behind her. She shakes her hips, making a point to sway while I try to mimic her flirty waltz. She shoots me a wink before focusing on the mission at hand.
A surge of adrenaline rushes through me, pushing me forward towards Ari with a confidence that is definitely not my own. I clench Kara’s hand as a last life line to save me. Kara pauses in the aisle, and I do the same when we are close enough to Ari.
“Wait for it,” she says, staring daggers into Ari’s back like she’s casting a spell. I wait for him to feel me, hoping I get a good reaction, but knowing it’s not likely given our latest circumstances. It doesn’t take him long before he glances up, his eyes locking onto mine with instant surprise.
Kara tugs me along by our joined hands towards him, and I plaster an overzealous smile on my face. “H-hey,” I stutter, doing the stupid wave again. I’m acting like I’ve never met the guy before and am star struck. I blush, averting my eyes towards the floor, wanting to bury my head under it and cry with embarrassment.
“Excuse me,” Ari says to the group of guys surrounding him. They all scatter their separate ways, and he finally comes over to us. He stops in front of me when just a foot of empty space separates us. “How are you ladies?” he asks to both of us, acting completely formal and nothing like the Ari I know—or rather knew.
“Good!” Kara squeaks out, very excited to speak with Ari. I frown in her direction, wondering why she’s so damn excited. She seems so calm and collected but then in Ari’s presence, she turns into a giggly school girl. I say the same—just with less enthusiasm.
“Can I see you for a second?” Ari’s eyes never leave mine as they burn with such intensity that a hum of heat runs through me like a lightning bolt of love. His green eyes pierce mine just like they used to, and it sends familiar chords strumming through my heart.
“Sure,” I say, unsure of what he’s going to tell me. I let go of Kara’s hand and walk alongside Ari as he leads me past the food area and out a large set of wooden doors to a fairytale courtyard.
Ari takes a seat on a carved wood bench, in between two large bushes that are covered in ice and snow. I bend down, touching the frozen leaves before sitting next to him on the double-seater. I glance around the courtyard wishing there was some flowers to look at so I don’t have to stare at Ari. I try to avoid eye contact because it makes me crave things that I know I can’t have anymore.
“So,” he pauses, “are you okay?” The question takes me by surprise, because over the last few months, nobody has really cared if I was okay or not. With my best friend Junior picking sides, it’s been more than awkward between us.
Then with Ari and Ollie both declaring that they hate me and never want to be with me, I kind of just became a hermit and spent time at home with my dad.
“Um. Yeah, I guess.” I’m not sure what aspect of my life he’s referring to, but I can guess pretty damn well it’s not my love life. He knows how shitty that is.
“I’m sorry for everything.” He gets out the words fast, in one single breath. “I just couldn’t be your friend when I care about you so much. It was impossible to even be in the same class as you when all I wanted was to kiss you and make you mine. Can you forgive me?” His jade eyes turn up and meet mine with question.
“I just don’t get it. You wouldn’t explain the pact you made or why you had to listen to him. You both broke my heart, at the same time. I just don’t get it,” I say again, wishing that someone would finally explain why they can’t be with me. I get that it’s because of the curse, but at the same time, I don’t.
“Everything’s changed. You have to choose one of us and if we were both vying for your attention, you’d hate us both for being so catty and manipulative. We thought if we stayed away you could think clearer and make a sound decision.” He runs his hand through his hair, the black tendrils flipping towards his forehead. While the sides of his hair have been trimmed, the front is still long and dips dangerously low to his eye line. His green eyes offset his near black hair, and it gives him an exotic look. My brain trails off as I imagine my own hand diving in for a turn.
“I just wish it was different,” I say, more for myself than for him.
“Me too, Eury.” He reaches towards me and rests his hand on my knee. He traces small circles over the bone, sending currents of lust through my body in gentle ripples. His hum of intensity rushes inside of me, and I do nothing to stop it. To be honest, I’ve missed the hum and am glad it’s back to bring me to life.
“Can we be together now?” I ask him, looking up at him for an answer. I know before he even utters a word that it isn’t good news—his somber eyes a dead giveaway. They always did say what his mouth wouldn’t.
“For once, I agree with Ollie. You need to choose,” he says, crushing any hope of us being together. “But we can’t avoid each other or act like we hate each other so I want to try out that friendship thing you were talking about,” he adds, almost as if he doesn’t understand the word friendship.
“I’ll take what I can get,” I say, upset that I can’t kiss him but glad that I at least get to have him in my life. I lean against him on the bench so our shoulders touch and wrap my arms around his neck in a long overdue embrace. “Thanks,” I whisper into his ear, clutching him tighter as if it’s the last hug I will ever get—and at this point, I really don’t know. It may be.
“Let me get you back to your friends.” As he gets up, our hands brush briefly before Ari flinches away like I have some sort of disease. I ignore his reaction, not wanting to upset myself before I go back to this new life I’m being pushed into. “They’re being nice to you, right?” He looks back at me, concerned.
“I barely even know them,” I mutter, wanting to get this dinner over with so I can relax in the confines of my own room. Although as soon as I think it, I doubt Kara will ever be quiet long enough that I can relax.
“You’ll tell me if you have any trouble, right?” He blocks the door to get inside so I have to answer him before I can leave. I scowl at him before answering, hating how patronizing he’s being.
“Yes, Ari,” I groan, pushing past him and finding my way back inside to where Kara is sitting with her friends. She sees me walk in and rushes over to my side, concern in her eyes.
Once we get inside the food area, she bombards me with questions. “What did he say? Did you kiss him? Are you together now? Why did you break up before?” She rattles off one after the other like rapid fire until I’m fed up and feeling overwhelmed.
“Can we talk about it later?” I ask, meeting her focus. When she sees how upset it’s making me, she drops it, thankfully.
“Of course. I’m sorry. Whenever you’re ready. If you are ready. You don’t have to ever be ready.” She stumbles over her thoughts as they pour out of her open mouth. I can tell that she wants to be friends with me and realized that she’s pushing me a little. We just have to figure out who each other is before I start divulging my deepest fears. This whole roommate thing isn’t normal, and I’m feeling pressured by all of it.
“I want to tell you, just when we’re alone,” I explain, getting a subtle grin out of her. She grabs my hand to squeeze it and then leads me back towards the table of her friends.
“Stop it!” some kid across the room yells. It piques my attention, so I glance over and notice two kids wrestling. It looks like two guys, but they’re moving at insane speeds, so it’s hard to tell. Both are barely a blur—one darker than the other, which helps to differentiate the two.
The blobs of mass separate enough so I can confirm my suspicion that there were just two kids. But they’re only apart for a second. They bang into each other, knocking over tables and chairs in a loud commotion.
One grabs the other and flings him into the wall, making the concrete shatter to the floor. I widen my eyes in disbelief. In retaliation, the other guy, grabs his forearm and flings the darker mass onto a table, which cracks the wood in half, making the table cave in.
“Is this normal?” I ask Kara. When I look over, she’s smiling at the two kids, laughing as they try to kill each other.
“They always fight. Usually it’s outside but I guess they wanted to start round one at dinner.” She laughs.
“Enough!” a teacher yells from across the room. She’s standing a few feet away from the boys, but the second her hand is raised, the two levitate away from each other as if they’re being pulled apart by invisible strings.
“Come on, Mrs. Ludwig. Put us down!” the darker kid says. He’s laughing at the altercation while I’m watching in horror. Although the boys shout for their release, the teacher doesn’t budge or even look away, seemingly concentrating on the two boys. I’ve never seen anything so bizarre.
“Come on.” Kara shakes her head at the boys, rolling her eyes when I look at her. She gestures for me to follow her to the table, so I do.
Is that type of fighting normal? Can students do stuff like that? I know for sure I can’t do that. What sort of school have I gotten myself into?
I sit next to Kara at the end of the rectangle table so I only have to deal with her butt touching mine. The thought of being that up-close-and-personal to a stranger freaks me out. And after seeing that weird display, I need all the normalcy I can get.
Although I guess Kara is a stranger to me, too. It’s odd, but already I think of her as a friend. Before I even get a chance to take a sip of my smoothie, the questions begin to roll in.
“Where are you from?” a small, mousy-looking girl asks from across the table. I’m attempting to place names to faces, but so far, I suck. I have no idea what’s this girl’s name, but she seems genuinely nice, and I like that about her.
“Give her a second to breathe, Megan,” a really attractive guy at the end of the table says. Good news—the mousy girl is named Megan. I can remember this: Mousy Megan.
She has brown hair the color of chestnut and murky chocolate eyes. She has a small frame, most of it hidden behind the table, that makes her look tiny and cute like a baby mouse.
“It’s okay,” I say, after memorizing her name. “I’m from Connecticut,” I tell her with, what I’m hoping is, a cordial look on my face.
“Oh. Are you like super rich?” the girl next to Megan asks. She’s got similar hair to Megan’s but it’s tinted with red shades, probably not naturally. Her eyes are a dazzling hazel, shining as the setting sun comes in from the wall of windows in the student center. It makes them almost look transparent. She looks pretty much like a super model—long hair, slim face, and skinny.
“Nope. Not rich,” I say standoffishly, not liking the way she talks to people--like a superficial cheerleader. I can tell I’m not going to get along with her at all. She has those evil eyes that always seem to be glaring or squinting or judging. Instantly, she reminds me of Becca, and it makes goosebumps spring up all over my body at the memory.
“Bummer,” she mutters as the guy sitting next to her elbows her in the ribs. “Ouch!” She yelps, scowling at him while he pretends to focus elsewhere, acting as if nothing happened. I chuckle to myself but make sure it’s silent so she doesn’t flip out on me and hate me more.
“So, do you have a boyfriend?” a red-haired, nerdy looking guy asks, receiving his own elbow to the gut from Megan.
“Seriously, Shane.” She groans, under her breath, blowing a puff of air out. I look between the two, trying to figure out what sort of relationship they have but come up empty-handed.
“No,” I answer and then look to Kara for explanation when Shane starts talking in whispers to Megan.
“Shane is Megan’s boyfriend,” Kara whispers, explaining the dynamic to me.
I lean over towards her, wanting to ask her more questions as the group is busy talking to each other. “Is anyone else dating? I’m so lost,” I ask her since the girls are definitely not into me so far. I can tell Megan is trying to give me a chance, but I’m definitely getting written off by the model-looking girl.
“Shane and Megan are together—have been for a while now, the whole year actually. Lisa is with Carter but it’s more recent as in only starting over winter break. To be honest, I think they just hook up.” Lisa—the redhead’s name. “And Mikey, the blonde at the end,” she points to him and thankfully, he’s facing the other way so he doesn’t notice us staring, “is single, thank the gods. We’ve hooked up a couple times but nothing too serious. Totally single.” She leans forward and bats her eyelashes towards Mikey when she joins the conversation at the table again.
I glance around, matching names to faces now that I’ve been told them for a second--or more likely third--time. Megan the mouse, I have. Lisa’s the only other girl so that’s easy enough.
Let’s see…
Shane is with Megan. Shane has what looks like natural red hair, and he’s the smallest and nerdy-looking. Carter is with Lisa but barely, according to Kara. He has light brown hair and the craziest grey eyes that are entrancing and so exotic. Mikey is steaming hot with white-blonde hair and blue-blue eyes, almost up to par with Ollie’s, which says a lot.
I think I can remember all these names and faces but damn, it’s a hell of a lot to take in. My brain feels like it’s running on battery power and is about to die. The rest of dinner is civil, and most of the kids at the table just ignore me altogether. I actually prefer that to the round of questioning when I first sat down.
I learn a lot about my teachers. I barely even looked at my schedule when I first got in the room, but apparently all the teachers rotate, so we’ll share the same teachers even if we aren’t in the same class time.
The girls, Kara and I all walk back to the dorms together after the boys sprint out first, apparently late to some sports meeting. They run like I did in the Underworld—turbo speed. They all are gone within seconds of finishing dinner, leaving only a wake of wind in their path.
Lisa and Megan live in Aphro Hall, too, but on the first floor so we drop them off and then take the stairs to our dorm room. I unlock the door for us, wanting to get used to keeping my key on me and then throw my stuff on my new, clean, organized desk.
“You need to tell me everything!” Kara yells towards me as she jumps onto her bed, stretching out like a lazy cat. I drop on my own bed, leaning a throw pillow on the wall and lie against it so I’m comfortable.
“What do you want to know?” I ask her, wanting her to kick off the questioning since I have no idea where to even begin my sordid story. It’ll be a lot easier to explain it to Kara rather than when I had to with Junior since Kara already knows about gods.
“Everything! Tell me about this love interest with Professor A.” She wills me to go on as she flips onto her stomach. She leans her head on her hands like I have the best gossip in town and am ready to spew it out for her.
“Uh…well, let me start before Ari, actually.” I try to organize my thoughts and figure out how to make my life story understandable to an outsider, even though I can barely understand it all myself. “I met this guy Ollie at school, turns out he’s a god. I fell in love with him before I found that out, though. He’s pretty perfect with the bluest eyes you could ever imagine.” I get lost in the image of Ollie. “Then Ari showed up and rocked my world completely on its axis. He’s so cocky and pushes me to do new things, and we have this weird, electric chemistry. Anyway, he’s the one that told me about the Nephilim world and powers and gods and all of that.”
“Well, which one do you love more?” she asks me hitting the magic question right on the head. As I think, she rests her head on her palms. Her legs cross at the ankles, swaying side to side.
“Turns out, I’m part of some strange love triangle curse thing. I love them both--just different ways.”
“What do you mean curse?” Her giddy personality turns serious at the mention of my curse, which has come to be a pretty typical reaction.
“Apparently, Hades hates us or something, and I’ve been reincarnating for thousands of years loving both of them and then dying. It’s really messed up,” I tell her, trying to explain the curse the best I can, even though I don’t even know why I’m in it or any of the details yet.
“You said your name was Ryder, though.” She tries to put the pieces together. I can tell she’s heard my story before by the puzzled look on her face. I guess now’s as good a time as ever to get it all out.
“My nickname is Ryder. My real name is Eurydice,” I reveal.
“Holy shit!” Kara screams, cutting me off. She jumps up off her bed and rushes towards me, her scrawny arms spread.
I’m caught off guard as she tackles me on the bed, covering my body with hers. “What’s so exciting? I don’t get it!” I laugh as she shakes us together in the overzealous hug attack.
“You’re like a legend around here.” She sits back on her heels, attempting to compose herself.
“No, I’m not,” I say, not liking the attention especially when it has to do with this bizarre love thing.
“Dude, everyone knows your story. This is crazy,” she mutters, lifting herself off of me before sitting on her desk chair. I get myself up and plant my butt on the edge of my bed. I pray that nobody else knows the story. All I want to do this year is end my curse, find my mom, and be stronger.
All I want is a fresh start.
Waltzing hand-in-hand with Kara, I enter the cafeteria in search of her clique of alleged friends—all of whom I’ve never met before. I tried to put off the greeting for as long as possible, but I only made it an hour before Kara dragged me down here from our shared dorm room in Aphro Hall.
I have to admit; when I first saw Kara I was in awe. She’s small, bubbly, blonde, and I’m…not. She had on this outrageous outfit, cowboy boots and all, and although it’s January, she chose to wear summer clothes and call it a day.
Her side of the room is like a Barbie’s dollhouse—only in real life. It’s completely pink with fluffy pillows and even smells flowery. My side is a stark contrast, but I plan to change that soon. I did only move in today.
Kara squeezes my hand and brings me back to the current moment. I’m drained from moving into DGA, Demi God Academy, just this morning, and the last thing on my mind is making friends when I so clearly don’t fit in.
Glancing around the room, it’s clear this place is for elite, gorgeous looking gods. Everyone is primped to perfection with flawless skin and silky, smooth hair. Meanwhile, I’m sweaty from hefting boxes and nervously biting my bottom lip with anxiety from being in this new situation.
The sea of people in front of me highly intimidates me. I thought I would be able remain invisible until classes start tomorrow morning, but now as I enter the room, all eyes turn towards me, scrutinizing my every move. Their searing stares inspect me, traveling up and down my average looking body. I use my arms to cover myself, crossing them over my average chest—not liking the way their eyes linger for far too long.
“Can’t we do this tomorrow?” I turn towards Kara, pleading with her. I hardly know her, but immediately I liked her. We may be opposites, but even so, she has this tender, genuine charm that makes me feel like I can trust her.
“Come on, they’re going to love you!” she squeals, linking our arms as she pulls me towards a table of kids I’m assuming are her friends.
When we step up to the table, all of the seated students smile up at Kara, welcoming her, before turning their watching eyes to me. An awkward second passes by as Kara just smiles, saying her hellos while I stand next to her looking like a social outcast.
“This is my roomy guys! Ryder,” she introduces me, and I grin, wanting to keep this short, but Kara pushes my back with her hand so I stumble forward towards the table. I trip over my feet but try to play it off.
“Hey,” I mutter far too quietly—the kids at the end of the table probably don’t even hear me. My hand waves involuntarily, making me look like a freaking idiot. I quickly shove my hand down, hiding it behind my back before I do something stupid like give them all handshakes or a lame thumbs up.
They go around the table clockwise, each saying their names, but I’m so nervous that I don’t remember a single one. My brain is on overdrive, and all I can think of is making sure I don’t barf or screw up my first impressions. Kara excuses us after they’re all introduced and leads me towards the food area, waving behind her effortlessly like the little social butterfly she is.
“Relax, girl.” She tries to reassure me but it hardly works. “They’re not all judgey.”
As we near the food lines towards the back of the cafeteria, I catch sight of my dark-haired knight standing in the center aisle of the room with a crowd of students circling him. My heart pitter-patters, and I mentally explode with him being so close.
I haven’t seen Ari since before Christmas, and even then, our only form of communication was via texting. Actually, both boys have recently been avoiding me like the plague, so when I see Ari standing there in all his godly glory, I almost hyperventilate.
As we take long strides towards him, I only allow myself a quick glance up and down his frame so nobody will acknowledge me. His hair is cut shorter than I’ve ever seen it, but at the same time it looks longer on top. I can’t tell what’s different, but it looks really good with his bright eyes. The sides are no longer over his ears, and it makes him look much older—maybe late twenties or even early thirties.
I stop dead in my tracks, not wanting him to spot me—or anyone else for that matter. I don’t think I’m mentally prepared for this meeting and need to avoid it at all costs.
Kara walks a few more steps alone before she notes that I’ve stopped moving. Turning around, she storms over to me with questioning eyes.
“What’s the deal?” I figure now is as good a time as any to explain to her at least part of the story of my dreaded, miserable life.
“I kind of know that guy over there.” I point to where Ari stands among the students.
“Which one?” she questions me back, squinting towards them, hungrily trying to pick out which kid it is.
“The guy with black hair.” I point directly at Ari but drop my hand fast so nobody else notices. I can’t have people accusing me of being a stalker on day one. I know how fast rumors can fly and the impact they have on someone’s reputation.
“Professor A?” she asks me in disbelief. Her perfectly shaped eyebrows pinch together in an unattractive way, and she scrutinizes me like she’s forming a new opinion.
“Uh, yeah,” I mutter, my cheeks heating up like a thermometer over an open flame.
“I think you’re going to have to back up here. How do you even know him?” She looks around the room, grabs my arm, and pulls me down to sit next to her at a vacant table. We’re hidden behind a stone pillar from prying eyes, and I feel myself relax just a notch.
“Well, I kind of dated him but not really.” She gives me a dismal look, thinking he’s my ex or something so I have to clear it up. “We met at my old school before I knew about gods and all of this,” I say, gesturing around the building full of gods, but she holds up her hand, shushing me.
“You lost me here. He’s your ex?” she clarifies, frowning over at me.
“Basically.” I leave it at that. Meanwhile my brain is running, thinking of fast forwarding to a time when Ari and I can actually be together or even rewind a few months, whichever is possible. I let my mental tirade flash with images of Ari on the beach, in the Underworld, and anywhere else I can have him.
“Okay, here’s what we’re going to do.” She breaks my thoughts with her light voice. “We are going to walk towards the food, you’re going to say ‘hi,’ and then walk away.” I start to object but she glowers at me, a silencing glare. “You look happy and he needs to see it,” she continues. She reaches her hand up and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. I feel her fingers brush around up there.
“Perfect,” she mutters and then stands in front of me, admiring her work. I look up at her skeptically, but she brushes it off and reaches down for my hand, not paying me any attention. I pause, debating what to do, but she’s my roommate, and I really need to work on my trust issues—I’ll give her a shot.
Interlocking her fingers with mine, she walks with a purpose, dragging me along behind her. She shakes her hips, making a point to sway while I try to mimic her flirty waltz. She shoots me a wink before focusing on the mission at hand.
A surge of adrenaline rushes through me, pushing me forward towards Ari with a confidence that is definitely not my own. I clench Kara’s hand as a last life line to save me. Kara pauses in the aisle, and I do the same when we are close enough to Ari.
“Wait for it,” she says, staring daggers into Ari’s back like she’s casting a spell. I wait for him to feel me, hoping I get a good reaction, but knowing it’s not likely given our latest circumstances. It doesn’t take him long before he glances up, his eyes locking onto mine with instant surprise.
Kara tugs me along by our joined hands towards him, and I plaster an overzealous smile on my face. “H-hey,” I stutter, doing the stupid wave again. I’m acting like I’ve never met the guy before and am star struck. I blush, averting my eyes towards the floor, wanting to bury my head under it and cry with embarrassment.
“Excuse me,” Ari says to the group of guys surrounding him. They all scatter their separate ways, and he finally comes over to us. He stops in front of me when just a foot of empty space separates us. “How are you ladies?” he asks to both of us, acting completely formal and nothing like the Ari I know—or rather knew.
“Good!” Kara squeaks out, very excited to speak with Ari. I frown in her direction, wondering why she’s so damn excited. She seems so calm and collected but then in Ari’s presence, she turns into a giggly school girl. I say the same—just with less enthusiasm.
“Can I see you for a second?” Ari’s eyes never leave mine as they burn with such intensity that a hum of heat runs through me like a lightning bolt of love. His green eyes pierce mine just like they used to, and it sends familiar chords strumming through my heart.
“Sure,” I say, unsure of what he’s going to tell me. I let go of Kara’s hand and walk alongside Ari as he leads me past the food area and out a large set of wooden doors to a fairytale courtyard.
Ari takes a seat on a carved wood bench, in between two large bushes that are covered in ice and snow. I bend down, touching the frozen leaves before sitting next to him on the double-seater. I glance around the courtyard wishing there was some flowers to look at so I don’t have to stare at Ari. I try to avoid eye contact because it makes me crave things that I know I can’t have anymore.
“So,” he pauses, “are you okay?” The question takes me by surprise, because over the last few months, nobody has really cared if I was okay or not. With my best friend Junior picking sides, it’s been more than awkward between us.
Then with Ari and Ollie both declaring that they hate me and never want to be with me, I kind of just became a hermit and spent time at home with my dad.
“Um. Yeah, I guess.” I’m not sure what aspect of my life he’s referring to, but I can guess pretty damn well it’s not my love life. He knows how shitty that is.
“I’m sorry for everything.” He gets out the words fast, in one single breath. “I just couldn’t be your friend when I care about you so much. It was impossible to even be in the same class as you when all I wanted was to kiss you and make you mine. Can you forgive me?” His jade eyes turn up and meet mine with question.
“I just don’t get it. You wouldn’t explain the pact you made or why you had to listen to him. You both broke my heart, at the same time. I just don’t get it,” I say again, wishing that someone would finally explain why they can’t be with me. I get that it’s because of the curse, but at the same time, I don’t.
“Everything’s changed. You have to choose one of us and if we were both vying for your attention, you’d hate us both for being so catty and manipulative. We thought if we stayed away you could think clearer and make a sound decision.” He runs his hand through his hair, the black tendrils flipping towards his forehead. While the sides of his hair have been trimmed, the front is still long and dips dangerously low to his eye line. His green eyes offset his near black hair, and it gives him an exotic look. My brain trails off as I imagine my own hand diving in for a turn.
“I just wish it was different,” I say, more for myself than for him.
“Me too, Eury.” He reaches towards me and rests his hand on my knee. He traces small circles over the bone, sending currents of lust through my body in gentle ripples. His hum of intensity rushes inside of me, and I do nothing to stop it. To be honest, I’ve missed the hum and am glad it’s back to bring me to life.
“Can we be together now?” I ask him, looking up at him for an answer. I know before he even utters a word that it isn’t good news—his somber eyes a dead giveaway. They always did say what his mouth wouldn’t.
“For once, I agree with Ollie. You need to choose,” he says, crushing any hope of us being together. “But we can’t avoid each other or act like we hate each other so I want to try out that friendship thing you were talking about,” he adds, almost as if he doesn’t understand the word friendship.
“I’ll take what I can get,” I say, upset that I can’t kiss him but glad that I at least get to have him in my life. I lean against him on the bench so our shoulders touch and wrap my arms around his neck in a long overdue embrace. “Thanks,” I whisper into his ear, clutching him tighter as if it’s the last hug I will ever get—and at this point, I really don’t know. It may be.
“Let me get you back to your friends.” As he gets up, our hands brush briefly before Ari flinches away like I have some sort of disease. I ignore his reaction, not wanting to upset myself before I go back to this new life I’m being pushed into. “They’re being nice to you, right?” He looks back at me, concerned.
“I barely even know them,” I mutter, wanting to get this dinner over with so I can relax in the confines of my own room. Although as soon as I think it, I doubt Kara will ever be quiet long enough that I can relax.
“You’ll tell me if you have any trouble, right?” He blocks the door to get inside so I have to answer him before I can leave. I scowl at him before answering, hating how patronizing he’s being.
“Yes, Ari,” I groan, pushing past him and finding my way back inside to where Kara is sitting with her friends. She sees me walk in and rushes over to my side, concern in her eyes.
Once we get inside the food area, she bombards me with questions. “What did he say? Did you kiss him? Are you together now? Why did you break up before?” She rattles off one after the other like rapid fire until I’m fed up and feeling overwhelmed.
“Can we talk about it later?” I ask, meeting her focus. When she sees how upset it’s making me, she drops it, thankfully.
“Of course. I’m sorry. Whenever you’re ready. If you are ready. You don’t have to ever be ready.” She stumbles over her thoughts as they pour out of her open mouth. I can tell that she wants to be friends with me and realized that she’s pushing me a little. We just have to figure out who each other is before I start divulging my deepest fears. This whole roommate thing isn’t normal, and I’m feeling pressured by all of it.
“I want to tell you, just when we’re alone,” I explain, getting a subtle grin out of her. She grabs my hand to squeeze it and then leads me back towards the table of her friends.
“Stop it!” some kid across the room yells. It piques my attention, so I glance over and notice two kids wrestling. It looks like two guys, but they’re moving at insane speeds, so it’s hard to tell. Both are barely a blur—one darker than the other, which helps to differentiate the two.
The blobs of mass separate enough so I can confirm my suspicion that there were just two kids. But they’re only apart for a second. They bang into each other, knocking over tables and chairs in a loud commotion.
One grabs the other and flings him into the wall, making the concrete shatter to the floor. I widen my eyes in disbelief. In retaliation, the other guy, grabs his forearm and flings the darker mass onto a table, which cracks the wood in half, making the table cave in.
“Is this normal?” I ask Kara. When I look over, she’s smiling at the two kids, laughing as they try to kill each other.
“They always fight. Usually it’s outside but I guess they wanted to start round one at dinner.” She laughs.
“Enough!” a teacher yells from across the room. She’s standing a few feet away from the boys, but the second her hand is raised, the two levitate away from each other as if they’re being pulled apart by invisible strings.
“Come on, Mrs. Ludwig. Put us down!” the darker kid says. He’s laughing at the altercation while I’m watching in horror. Although the boys shout for their release, the teacher doesn’t budge or even look away, seemingly concentrating on the two boys. I’ve never seen anything so bizarre.
“Come on.” Kara shakes her head at the boys, rolling her eyes when I look at her. She gestures for me to follow her to the table, so I do.
Is that type of fighting normal? Can students do stuff like that? I know for sure I can’t do that. What sort of school have I gotten myself into?
I sit next to Kara at the end of the rectangle table so I only have to deal with her butt touching mine. The thought of being that up-close-and-personal to a stranger freaks me out. And after seeing that weird display, I need all the normalcy I can get.
Although I guess Kara is a stranger to me, too. It’s odd, but already I think of her as a friend. Before I even get a chance to take a sip of my smoothie, the questions begin to roll in.
“Where are you from?” a small, mousy-looking girl asks from across the table. I’m attempting to place names to faces, but so far, I suck. I have no idea what’s this girl’s name, but she seems genuinely nice, and I like that about her.
“Give her a second to breathe, Megan,” a really attractive guy at the end of the table says. Good news—the mousy girl is named Megan. I can remember this: Mousy Megan.
She has brown hair the color of chestnut and murky chocolate eyes. She has a small frame, most of it hidden behind the table, that makes her look tiny and cute like a baby mouse.
“It’s okay,” I say, after memorizing her name. “I’m from Connecticut,” I tell her with, what I’m hoping is, a cordial look on my face.
“Oh. Are you like super rich?” the girl next to Megan asks. She’s got similar hair to Megan’s but it’s tinted with red shades, probably not naturally. Her eyes are a dazzling hazel, shining as the setting sun comes in from the wall of windows in the student center. It makes them almost look transparent. She looks pretty much like a super model—long hair, slim face, and skinny.
“Nope. Not rich,” I say standoffishly, not liking the way she talks to people--like a superficial cheerleader. I can tell I’m not going to get along with her at all. She has those evil eyes that always seem to be glaring or squinting or judging. Instantly, she reminds me of Becca, and it makes goosebumps spring up all over my body at the memory.
“Bummer,” she mutters as the guy sitting next to her elbows her in the ribs. “Ouch!” She yelps, scowling at him while he pretends to focus elsewhere, acting as if nothing happened. I chuckle to myself but make sure it’s silent so she doesn’t flip out on me and hate me more.
“So, do you have a boyfriend?” a red-haired, nerdy looking guy asks, receiving his own elbow to the gut from Megan.
“Seriously, Shane.” She groans, under her breath, blowing a puff of air out. I look between the two, trying to figure out what sort of relationship they have but come up empty-handed.
“No,” I answer and then look to Kara for explanation when Shane starts talking in whispers to Megan.
“Shane is Megan’s boyfriend,” Kara whispers, explaining the dynamic to me.
I lean over towards her, wanting to ask her more questions as the group is busy talking to each other. “Is anyone else dating? I’m so lost,” I ask her since the girls are definitely not into me so far. I can tell Megan is trying to give me a chance, but I’m definitely getting written off by the model-looking girl.
“Shane and Megan are together—have been for a while now, the whole year actually. Lisa is with Carter but it’s more recent as in only starting over winter break. To be honest, I think they just hook up.” Lisa—the redhead’s name. “And Mikey, the blonde at the end,” she points to him and thankfully, he’s facing the other way so he doesn’t notice us staring, “is single, thank the gods. We’ve hooked up a couple times but nothing too serious. Totally single.” She leans forward and bats her eyelashes towards Mikey when she joins the conversation at the table again.
I glance around, matching names to faces now that I’ve been told them for a second--or more likely third--time. Megan the mouse, I have. Lisa’s the only other girl so that’s easy enough.
Let’s see…
Shane is with Megan. Shane has what looks like natural red hair, and he’s the smallest and nerdy-looking. Carter is with Lisa but barely, according to Kara. He has light brown hair and the craziest grey eyes that are entrancing and so exotic. Mikey is steaming hot with white-blonde hair and blue-blue eyes, almost up to par with Ollie’s, which says a lot.
I think I can remember all these names and faces but damn, it’s a hell of a lot to take in. My brain feels like it’s running on battery power and is about to die. The rest of dinner is civil, and most of the kids at the table just ignore me altogether. I actually prefer that to the round of questioning when I first sat down.
I learn a lot about my teachers. I barely even looked at my schedule when I first got in the room, but apparently all the teachers rotate, so we’ll share the same teachers even if we aren’t in the same class time.
The girls, Kara and I all walk back to the dorms together after the boys sprint out first, apparently late to some sports meeting. They run like I did in the Underworld—turbo speed. They all are gone within seconds of finishing dinner, leaving only a wake of wind in their path.
Lisa and Megan live in Aphro Hall, too, but on the first floor so we drop them off and then take the stairs to our dorm room. I unlock the door for us, wanting to get used to keeping my key on me and then throw my stuff on my new, clean, organized desk.
“You need to tell me everything!” Kara yells towards me as she jumps onto her bed, stretching out like a lazy cat. I drop on my own bed, leaning a throw pillow on the wall and lie against it so I’m comfortable.
“What do you want to know?” I ask her, wanting her to kick off the questioning since I have no idea where to even begin my sordid story. It’ll be a lot easier to explain it to Kara rather than when I had to with Junior since Kara already knows about gods.
“Everything! Tell me about this love interest with Professor A.” She wills me to go on as she flips onto her stomach. She leans her head on her hands like I have the best gossip in town and am ready to spew it out for her.
“Uh…well, let me start before Ari, actually.” I try to organize my thoughts and figure out how to make my life story understandable to an outsider, even though I can barely understand it all myself. “I met this guy Ollie at school, turns out he’s a god. I fell in love with him before I found that out, though. He’s pretty perfect with the bluest eyes you could ever imagine.” I get lost in the image of Ollie. “Then Ari showed up and rocked my world completely on its axis. He’s so cocky and pushes me to do new things, and we have this weird, electric chemistry. Anyway, he’s the one that told me about the Nephilim world and powers and gods and all of that.”
“Well, which one do you love more?” she asks me hitting the magic question right on the head. As I think, she rests her head on her palms. Her legs cross at the ankles, swaying side to side.
“Turns out, I’m part of some strange love triangle curse thing. I love them both--just different ways.”
“What do you mean curse?” Her giddy personality turns serious at the mention of my curse, which has come to be a pretty typical reaction.
“Apparently, Hades hates us or something, and I’ve been reincarnating for thousands of years loving both of them and then dying. It’s really messed up,” I tell her, trying to explain the curse the best I can, even though I don’t even know why I’m in it or any of the details yet.
“You said your name was Ryder, though.” She tries to put the pieces together. I can tell she’s heard my story before by the puzzled look on her face. I guess now’s as good a time as ever to get it all out.
“My nickname is Ryder. My real name is Eurydice,” I reveal.
“Holy shit!” Kara screams, cutting me off. She jumps up off her bed and rushes towards me, her scrawny arms spread.
I’m caught off guard as she tackles me on the bed, covering my body with hers. “What’s so exciting? I don’t get it!” I laugh as she shakes us together in the overzealous hug attack.
“You’re like a legend around here.” She sits back on her heels, attempting to compose herself.
“No, I’m not,” I say, not liking the attention especially when it has to do with this bizarre love thing.
“Dude, everyone knows your story. This is crazy,” she mutters, lifting herself off of me before sitting on her desk chair. I get myself up and plant my butt on the edge of my bed. I pray that nobody else knows the story. All I want to do this year is end my curse, find my mom, and be stronger.
All I want is a fresh start.